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    What ADD medication has done to me; Perhaps my story can help other people 
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    Bluelighter Colmes's Avatar
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    Hello everyone, I haven't been on bluelight for awhile; I decided to post this in The Dark Side, because I feel many people in this specific forum are here because of depression or life difficulties due to drug addiction, or withdrawals, or just one of the many problems any drug abuse, and dependence can cause.

    I am 24 years old, and have been on and off, mostly on, ADD medication for about 2 1/2 years.
    My goal in writing this, is to strongly discourage the temptation to obtain a prescription for ADHD medication, or rely on it through other sources, unless you have serious mental condition that makes functioning academically, at your job, or just keeping up with life, impossible.

    I know many people have a hard time with work, I did. I was always tired, lazy, unmotivated, and I'm not downplaying people who feel similarly, but I would give anything to have never tried a single stimulant, besides caffeine.

    I have tried many medications, these are just the ADD medications (most are related, some contain certain salts others do not, some contain just the most important isomer but I just figured i'd list them all) They are; Ritalin, Adderall, Provigil, Dexedrine, Vyvanse, Concerta and Focalin.

    I won't go through the detail of telling you how each one completely took control of my brain (minus the Provigil, but that medication was pretty useless for whatever it is I have). There is a simple equation to how addiction, tolerance, and dependence forms with each of these medications.

    It all starts with taking the pill, and coming to the conclusion "Finally, I have found the answer." Doing schoolwork and liking it, being more social & talkative (over time I learned to shut up as these drugs disconnect whatever it is that filters thoughts from the brain into words coming out of your mouth).
    It increases your self confidence, gives you the energy "you always knew you were meant to have, but did not know why it was not there". basically, it was the cure, so I, and many, were lead to believe.

    Looking at my list of medications you can see I obviously switched a lot. This was not because my doctor was paying me to test things out, it was because the cons began to outweigh the euphoria that comes with amphetamines and similar medications.

    Abuse is almost impossible to avoid, simply because tolerance builds up as quickly as a couple of weeks from when you first try the medication. That amazing feeling you had the first several weeks of ever trying these medications, is constantly sought after. 10 mg turns into 40mg, 30 turns into 90mg, you get the point. Now, the medication often changes how you interact with people. What was once a social lubricant, now makes you quiet or aggressive, impatient, nervous, sometimes even feeling completely withdrawn from other people.

    Once you notice that this drug is making your stomach constantly upset because you are now superhuman, and do not require as much food. And also that sometimes, the comedowns from the medication can lead to pretty bad depression, anxiety, and nervous- lethargy. All this coupled with insomnia leads to one conclusion, you have to quit.

    Quitting amphetamines or methylphenidate compounds can prove to be extremely difficult. They sound friendly, but in all honesty, when used for a long period of time, while less neurotoxic, cause some serious damage to the natural flow of dopamine, norepenephrine, and to a lesser extent, serotonin, in your brain. While there is not a strong "physical addiction" the psychological addiction is incredible.

    While it may only take about a week or two for the serious lack of energy, and depression to go away; what follows can be months...even years of desperately trying to get your interest, motivation, and happiness back...to what it was IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    Please, these medications bring in billions of dollars to pharm companies all over the world. There are legitimate uses for these medications, but it is clear doctors, and parents are FAR too liberal in prescribing this Schedule II (USA) drug to people from ages 6-99 (a lot like the board game Monopoly). If you are considering asking your doctor about this drug, do a great deal of thinking, ask many questions, and consider the risks. I am sure that hundreds of thousands of people would give the same advice...just think twice. I hope this can help someone.
    Last edited by Colmes; 27-06-2010 at 11:26.
     

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    Bluelight Crew addictivepersona's Avatar
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    I'm still debating if I should ask my doctor for an ADD med., as I think I may have it--I snorted Adderall awhile back, and I don't know how to describe the effect, except that it made me feel "normal." "Grounded." It shut off, to quote you Clomes, "whatever it is that filters thoughts from the brain into words coming out of your mouth"--I didn't blab as incessantly. If I did blab I didn't hate myself for it later on--I just laughed about it and moved on instead of dwelling on the fact.

    All my life, I've wondered wtf may be wrong with me (I remember in middle school, reading the definition of "depression" in a health class textbook and thinking "maybe that's what's wrong with me"). Lately, I'm beginning to see how it may be ADD... or something else, or maybe just simple depression. Which is one reason I'm really debating ADD meds, but I figure if I try 'em for awhile and they don't work, I can switch... 'Cause I'm really not lookin' for a legal high... I wanna get help. The legal high would be nice tbh, but that's not what I'm seeking.

    I think I'm still going to ask my Dr. about getting tested for ADD (and an iron deficiency as both have similar symptoms), but I dunno if I'll jump on the pill bangwagon again... Was diagnosed as "bi-polar" six or seven years ago--The meds I got for that were awful... The only time I ever tried to kill myself was while I was on medication...

    Anyways, sorry for my long sob story. Thank you for post. I'm def. going to have to think long and hard about requesting Adderall/meds at all if I have ADD.
     

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    #3
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    I understand I'm in a similar position as you, but only in the beginning, researching and trying various options. What you say is indeed my concern. It does seem to be a common theme.

    That amazing feeling you had the first several weeks of ever trying these medications, is constantly sought after. 10 mg turns into 40mg, 30 turns into 90mg, you get the point.
    There is info on other sites as well as posts on this site that there is a way to prevent this tolerance by taking Memantine or other NMDA antagonists. Another tip is to take breaks from the amphetamines on certain days. I wonder if those combined or along with other techniques could make it work.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Colmes View Post
    unless you have serious mental condition that makes functioning academically, at your job, or just keeping up with life, impossible.
    Well said.

    I think it's also important that individuals get a feel for what their addictive pulls are towards (either drugs or otherwise) in life so you get a general consensus of what you can/can't be around/dabble in/etc.

    ADHD meds are not addictive whatsoever to me, sometimes they repulse me. With that being said, actually having ADHD is not fun, and ADHD meds are not a perfect solution to ADHD. If I could never use amphetamines again and not have ADHD, I would make that choice instantaneously.

    However, if I'm going to suffer with ADHD, I might as well have some decent medication. I am not currently prescribed though, I also think it's important for people to take breaks as needed.

    I also want to echo the idea that amphetamines are extremely psychologically addictive towards some people but not others. It's a very hit or miss sort of thing, and it's best to avoid it unless you know you don't have an addictive personality, or if you have a legitimate medical/psychological need for it.
     

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    I have ADHD and I know my parents purposely avoided giving me medication for it. My dad once took Ritalin recreationally and he knew what it did to ones self so it's not really a surprise that he didn't like the idea. I've taken Dexedrine once before as a homework aid. Enjoyed the euphoria and really enjoyed doing my school work. I literally sat in the same spot for 24 hours. But in reality if I were to get medication I would likely get addicted to the feeling of accomplishment in being able to pay attention and get work done. I came to this conclusion after taking molly that had some kind of speed in it and noted how I actually was enjoying what the teacher was teaching the next day.
     

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    Bluelighter skoat's Avatar
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    Good piece Colmes, hopefully it will help others understand the dangers of amphetamine abuse. Those companies do make billions, and sometimes doc's really don't know what they're doing. Its a big circle of influence due to the massive amount of money in pharms.

    I think Jeff Bridges said it best in "The Men Who Stare at Goats" when he says,

    "Okay everyone, remember, we officially do not exist as a unit.
    And remember, no solid food for the first week.
    Belgian waffle, ginseng and amphetamines.
    Not to be abused, but very fucking handy. "

    Use them only when you have to and try to keep it at that if you feel that amp's are your DOC.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain.Heroin View Post
    Well said.

    I think it's also important that individuals get a feel for what their addictive pulls are towards (either drugs or otherwise) in life so you get a general consensus of what you can/can't be around/dabble in/etc.

    ADHD meds are not addictive whatsoever to me, sometimes they repulse me. With that being said, actually having ADHD is not fun, and ADHD meds are not a perfect solution to ADHD. If I could never use amphetamines again and not have ADHD, I would make that choice instantaneously.

    However, if I'm going to suffer with ADHD, I might as well have some decent medication. I am not currently prescribed though, I also think it's important for people to take breaks as needed.

    I also want to echo the idea that amphetamines are extremely psychologically addictive towards some people but not others. It's a very hit or miss sort of thing, and it's best to avoid it unless you know you don't have an addictive personality, or if you have a legitimate medical/psychological need for it.

    Hello all and thank you for your stories and responses, and input. I would quote all of you, but having read everything, I'll quote captain (hey again CH) it has made something I already knew more evident, I'm clearly not alone in this feeling that while having ADD (or whatever ADD really is) and that amphetamines, while they do treat some symptoms have many flaws. And that those flaws in the medication also cause a lot of people, just like myself, to be stuck in a perpetual state of not knowing exactly what to do.

    To addictive persona(and anyone like him)

    I also wonder what the heck is wrong with me? it honestly could be anything from environmental pollution...there was a study recently linking that to a huge increase in ADHD diagnosis. (and no this isnt a nervous amphetamine psychosis paranoia answer haha, I think it is a legit concern). That being said, it could be a mixture of the hundreds upon hundreds of anxiety disorders, personality disorders, or blah blah blah blah that is all well documented in this DSM-IV. What is ADD? I'm not hyper at all. Of course you dont have to be hyper to have hyperactivity disorder...apparently.

    The problem with ADD in adults, I believe, is that it causes depression in some people. The constant trouble with keeping up with tasks...motivation...relationships... so people get prescribed amphetamines to treat their ADD, which inadvertently treats co-morbidity of whatever else it is he or she may have in combination with the "ADD".

    I know one golden rule...amphetamines are really a last choice to treat depression. Some people (me, being one of them), becomes dependent on this potent schedule II stimulant to treat the depression, or anxiety, or whatever it is. I really don't believe (opinion incoming) that doctors know what ADHD is. I think it is a collection of many different possible mental illnesses, I of course, could be 100% wrong). But all I know is that unlike other mental illnesses that bring in less money, there is more of a definitive list of symptoms needed in order to diagnose the patient. The qualifications for having ADHD in adults is very broad, and, again my opinion, encompasses many possible mental problems.

    Captain H, I completely agree, people NEED to know what they can and cannot control. There is no mid-ground. Amphetamines are well known to be addictive and cause strong psychological addictions. But of course this is not the case for everyone. I believe that some sort of depression is bound to exist in add patients, and if not, CAUSED by the ups and downs of the ADD medication. If you're treating sadness with a strong, and sometimes euphoric drug, to me, this is a straight up recipe for problems.

    Taking breaks, as mentioned by Sorb does somewhat work with tolerance. I took a 31 day break. and it fucking sucked, excuse my french. I took my medication, (NO chewing, NO snorting, EXACT dosage prescribed, and said medicine is in extended release form) 2 days to begin to form a strong tolerance (what the hell? lol).

    If anyone here has symptoms like lack of motivation...drive, all the symptoms listed for adult ADHD, and have a success story with a different medication (different family) and even possibly a different diagnosis, I'd love to hear.

    Yup skoat, I hope it helps someone who ...like me...out of being uneducated about the medication, combined with experimenting on ways to get even more "benefit" out of a drug i was prescribed by a doctor. Helps them in such a way that they may think twice....because any good you feel, you'll pay for it twice as bad the other way around eventually if you're not responsible. I like the quote, haha, moderation is key with speed for sure, but as we've all said...that can be easier said than done for some.

    I just cant go to the doctor and get diagnosed as lazy, given speed, and walk out feeling cool anymore...
     

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    i had all the symptoms listed too, but i share the distaste for amphetamine. Unfortunately for me i discovered that opiates did the trick even better. Too bad they come with the same set of problems and a horrible withdrawal.

    Still every year or so i get a craving and take adderall for a few days, like it at first then cant wait to be done with it.

    good post OP
     

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    Bluelighter burntserkits's Avatar
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    ^with you on that one...

    COLMES-That was a great read. I hope you are working through your addiction. For students, the summer is a great time to take a break from academia as well as some bad habits...
     

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    Thanks everyone for the positive reception of the thread.

    I'm a senior in college, psychology major (ironic given i can't seem to help myself too much, but I may as well be an educated individual).

    I learned from many places, and once again last semester ,in Abnormal Psychology, that brain scans of Amphetamine addicts show some pretty obvious damage. The professor also mentioned how it can take a long time for the brain to "re-wire" itself to what was normal (or as close to normal given the damage done, if any). The study was mainly on people who abused methamphetamine, while ADD meds are not meth. it would be hard to argue that they cannot cause damage. It is definitely neurotoxic, and well documented to be so. Anything that feels good (recreational, not therapeutically) & addictive...tends to be, well...over the years I've learned that these substances usually can be harmful to your brain and or body.

    Sorry for the rant...basically...I'm just worried it is going to take a long time for my brain to go back to normal. I also didn't want to imply that add drugs are just as strong or bad as crystal-meth, I was just speaking on its negative effects on chemical levels, receptors in the brain. I'm certainly not a brain surgeon...I always thought when I stopped that I would have the answer, as I've always read books, gone to school, all to learn about the mind and how it is affected by substances. It has became my hobby for the last 6 years. Now I'm feeling withdrawal just like anyone else, I guess I felt like the more I knew...would somehow protect me in some way, now it just makes my head run around in circles as to what my best option is.

    Thanks to anyone who has read this, and also, anyone with a substance abuse problem, prescription drugs or otherwise...keep your head up, and best of luck; as I know I'll need it.
    Last edited by Colmes; 30-06-2010 at 01:21.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by ech0s85 View Post
    i had all the symptoms listed too, but i share the distaste for amphetamine. Unfortunately for me i discovered that opiates did the trick even better. Too bad they come with the same set of problems and a horrible withdrawal.

    Still every year or so i get a craving and take adderall for a few days, like it at first then cant wait to be done with it.

    good post OP
    Yeah, I was probably using heroin to self medicate ADHD symptoms, and it did work very well. It was almost impossible to keep my use under control.

    For me and amphetamines, I don't find them addictive, so I can manage not to use them. However they still gain a tolerance to the effects quicker than opiates do, so I don't really prefer using them often.

    Adderall can have that sort of problem that ech0s brought up here "can't wait to be done with it" - I never felt that way on dexedrine or meth, but Adderall is more likely to make me feel that way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Colmes View Post
    If anyone here has symptoms like lack of motivation...drive, all the symptoms listed for adult ADHD, and have a success story with a different medication (different family) and even possibly a different diagnosis, I'd love to hear.
    For me, buprenorphine is an ideal ADHD medication, because it has anti-depressant qualities to it (probably attributable to kappa opioid antagonism), and also because it is "mildly" stimulating.

    It's better than heroin because it doesn't build a tolerance, and isn't addictive at all to me. I have managed to do well with 50mcg (about 6 to 8 times per day at the most).

    Of course buprenorphine is an ORT medication, but since I suspect I used heroin for ADHD self-medicating purposes, then that's why I wanted to bring this up here.

    Weed also makes me feel motivated and I think is a great anti-depressant but I understand that not all people share my sentiment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Colmes View Post
    Thanks everyone for the positive reception of the thread.

    I'm a senior in college, psychology major (ironic given i can't seem to help myself too much, but I may as well be an educated individual).

    I learned from many places, and once again last semester ,in Abnormal Psychology, that brain scans of Amphetamine addicts show some pretty obvious damage. The professor also mentioned how it can take a long time for the brain to "re-wire" itself to what was normal (or as close to normal given the damage done, if any). The study was mainly on people who abused methamphetamine, while ADD meds are not meth. it would be hard to argue that they cannot cause damage. It is definitely neurotoxic, and well documented to be so. Anything that feels good (recreational, not therapeutically) & addictive...tends to be, well...over the years I've learned that these substances usually can be harmful to your brain and or body.

    Sorry for the rant...basically...I'm just worried it is going to take a long time for my brain to go back to normal. I also didn't want to imply that add drugs are just as strong or bad as crystal-meth, I was just speaking on its negative effects on chemical levels, receptors in the brain. I'm certainly not a brain surgeon...I always thought when I stopped that I would have the answer, as I've always read books, gone to school, all to learn about the mind and how it is affected by substances. It has became my hobby for the last 6 years. Now I'm feeling withdrawal just like anyone else, I guess I felt like the more I knew...would somehow protect me in some way, now it just makes my head run around in circles as to what my best option is.

    Thanks to anyone who has read this, and also, anyone with a substance abuse problem, prescription drugs or otherwise...keep your head up, and best of luck; as I know I'll need it.
    Well IME how long it takes you to "recover" is dependent on how heavily you weighted down upon them as a "crutch"...so to speak.

    I think that amphetamine and meth are more detrimental when people use it more frequently throughout the day than necessary. For example, if you use Adderall or Dexedrine once a day for one week, it won't take one as long to get back to normal, than if you used it 5 to 8 times per day for 3 days and got no sleep, didn't eat much (if anything), etc.

    Eating properly, keeping yourself hydrated, and getting enough exercise is essential to help yourself when you're on amphetamines. If you neglect this, I think recovery will take longer.

    I am also a psychology major.
    Last edited by Captain.Heroin; 30-06-2010 at 04:10.
     

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    ^Who's not that hangs out in here!? lol And we all so whacky!
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain.Heroin View Post
    Yeah, I was probably using heroin to self medicate ADHD symptoms, and it did work very well. It was almost impossible to keep my use under control.

    For me and amphetamines, I don't find them addictive, so I can manage not to use them. However they still gain a tolerance to the effects quicker than opiates do, so I don't really prefer using them often.

    Adderall can have that sort of problem that ech0s brought up here "can't wait to be done with it" - I never felt that way on dexedrine or meth, but Adderall is more likely to make me feel that way.



    For me, buprenorphine is an ideal ADHD medication, because it has anti-depressant qualities to it (probably attributable to kappa opioid antagonism), and also because it is "mildly" stimulating.

    It's better than heroin because it doesn't build a tolerance, and isn't addictive at all to me. I have managed to do well with 50mcg (about 6 to 8 times per day at the most).

    Of course buprenorphine is an ORT medication, but since I suspect I used heroin for ADHD self-medicating purposes, then that's why I wanted to bring this up here.

    Weed also makes me feel motivated and I think is a great anti-depressant but I understand that not all people share my sentiment.



    Well IME how long it takes you to "recover" is dependent on how heavily you weighted down upon them as a "crutch"...so to speak.

    I think that amphetamine and meth are more detrimental when people use it more frequently throughout the day than necessary. For example, if you use Adderall or Dexedrine once a day for one week, it won't take one as long to get back to normal, than if you used it 5 to 8 times per day for 3 days and got no sleep, didn't eat much (if anything), etc.

    Eating properly, keeping yourself hydrated, and getting enough exercise is essential to help yourself when you're on amphetamines. If you neglect this, I think recovery will take longer.

    I am also a psychology major.

    haha yes we are all psych majors, good stuff. I agree completely.

    I too have had the most positive results from bupe (suboxone if anyone didnt know the generic name). It gave me energy, but completely natural energy. It did NOT impair my judgment or motor skills. It made me motivated, and more happy. Also, throughout my several months of using it (4mg a day approx) I didn't form a huge tolerance, I just got used to it - the undesirable side effects began to fade.

    Why didnt I stick with it? unfortunately it was not prescribed, so I was forced to stop when I no longer could obtain it. I'm sure you, and anyone else who has experienced it would agree, suboxone is not something you cold turkey off of, if you taper down, you can get off, if not, it shocks your system, i experienced some bad bad depression due to its anti depressant properties. (i believe harvard investigated its use as an anti-depressant....aka for other purposes other than just Opiate withdrawal treatment / Opiate maintenance.

    I don't know how to get it prescribed...and i went through (I dont know why it was so terrible) around 3 weeks of feeling like shit...it scared me off. I knew i never wanted to go through that again. Of course, as I said, i didnt taper, but that wasnt by choice.

    I agree with what you said regarding meth/amps in general. When i was on sub, I did not have any want or need to take ANY stimulant. I'm even a rare coffee drinker. But unfortunately, I seem to like it more than you, or you have in the past. You mentioned heroin to self medicate similar symptoms, that is what I did with dexedrine. AKA, I took it several times a day, and pulled all nighters sometimes, it was not a good decision, but, we all make mistakes.

    I fully agree the Bupe is a pharm that should be investigated for other treatments. It did not make me manic, and it did not cause a comedown with depression. What can I say other than I wish I was prescribed it, as i've dealt with opiate addiction in the past...and it eliminated my need for any stimulants, which was priceless.

    I have a question i'd like an answer to, if anyone has any feedback: What is one to do, when they legitimately have adult ADD, or many symptoms of it, which to be honest, can be pretty hard to live with; and their only way of being productive is to take a powerful stimulant that has god knows what long term effects. I know there must be thousands upon thousands of people who feel how I do, some on these very message boards. I hate to sound over-dramatic, but its a really tough spot to be in, the medication is so...unforgiving, and the alternative is being an unproductive member of society, it makes me sad. Well i've typed a lot this session, to anyone who read what I wrote many thanks, and good luck with whatever dark-sides you face as well. also comment if you have anything to add of course
     

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    Ha I'm 46, been doin meth on & off 27-28 yrs already. As a kid back in the early 70's, I had what was referred to as,"hyperactivity," & every other kid wasn't diagnosed with having ADHD or whatever. I have 3 half siblings, all of us from different Moms, same dad, & all 4 of us have ADHD---as does our sperm donor, the man that sired, but didn't raise any of us. Anyway, besides being "hyperactive," I also had a bad case of dyslexia where I still see letters bass akwards to this day (for a second or 2.) Out of the 4 of us, I was the only one given Rx ritalin or any drug to be able to sit the fuck down and learn. Not surprisingly, pops can't barely sign his name, & my siblings like pops didn't get past 10th grade. I graduated high school, & DID in fact learn to read & write well.

    I'd HATE to have to go through life not writing, reading, ALOT as those two activities rock. In my case I thank God I WAS put on Ritalin because all the adults, I remember would always be pissed off & be able to tell if I had 4gotten to "go 2 the office & get a pill" at school any given day, lol, & I have vague recollections of having a shitload of physical energy-- without the drug--& was always wild, disruptive, & managed to piss off adults. I was too riled up for most other kids even which sucked cause I couldn't understand why the world was always angry at me. I wasn't TRYING to be a freaken energetic goofball....but unmedicated apparently I was.

    What I'd do NOW for that energy to come back to me w/o chemical aid haha. When I was about 11 or so, I was taken off the Ritalin, & my parents were told I'd "grow out of it" the hyperness one day. There are adults that have both ADD with hyperactivity....as well as ADD attention deficeit...unable to focus, bored easily, lacks concentration...& hell I finally realized recently, after researching a lot about this disorder, reading other people's accounts as well, that although I may have "grown out of hyperactivity," the rest of the symptoms have stayed with me to this day....unless I'm on meth.

    I have noticed over the years that maintaining a low dose only of meth allows concentration, the ability to sit in a chair without squirming & feeling the need to get up, walk around and move every 5 fukn minutes, as well as not being bored, I can get my shit done, focus...& obviously this explains why I don't get very much joy out of writing scripts, learning new things on the PC, or anything new or electronic---without meth. Granted, dosing a bit too high on meth, I'm all over the board writing weird shit, and laughing, giggling & shit & jokes only I can see & hear lol.

    I have tried, however, every damned remedy from accupuncture, reiki, going to a Dr. that are Naturpaths, but in terms of the ADD...NOTHING else works. I did notice too, 15 yrs ago I was given Rx for phentermine to lose weight----which I took for theraputic purposes only meaning---for 3 months, although the same "high" was not there, I was still able to stick to a low fat/carb diet, ate & measured my 3 meals a day, but didn't have to suffer the torment of constant jonesin for all the junk food that is impossible to avoid being in your face assuming you watch TV once in a while...& leave the house.

    I was fine with that. When clean & sober 2 yrs doing NA program of complete abstinence....I voluntarily quit taking my Rx for migraines....the narcotic kind, but had the non narcotic tryptans available. It's damn near impossible to take Rx narcs only for pain....when you have the beast inside cause it wants some too....which is why it was easier to NOT take. Life always changes though, & after 18 months being clean went through hell stuck with chronic fatigue symptoms 24/7 no matter how much or little I slept. I was tired either way 24/7. After going to doc, spend hundres of $$ on lab work, 9 mon later & hundreds $ poorer & broke, thats when I said fuck it, went back to meth.

    As a functioning addict having the same job 5 yrs now, I noticed that the fatigue started up after taking Tramadol a couple wks. It's somehow fucked my neuro chemistry cause I've never had severe issues being tired 24/7....still for what it's worth...I do have a high tolerance for meth now....but am wanting to stop injecting....& ask doc for Rx for Vyvance, as suggested on here. If I were to take any Rx meth or amphetimine, due to tolerance I wouldn't get high...but I can still feel "normal" on merely a maintainance dose daily. This is where I'd ideally like to be.

    I am willing to give up the sporadic highs in favor of consistently not falling asleep or fighting it, controlling appetite, which meth/speed does on maintainance dose....I'm a normal weight size 10 or 8 at about 160 lbs at 5'7", I can focus, concentrate even when not dosing enough to get high. I would probably allow one week a couple times a year---off work, driving, other responsibilities---allow myself the recreation with meth like I did yrs ages ago using "on a schedule" of 90-120 days off--& 5 days on + 2 days recovery. I only had dope in the house on schedule. Seeing as how though the pros are numerous to try a low dose Rx speed only - (&stopping the black market kind) make me want to see doc & ask---if I can drum up the courage 2 do it. Am all paranoid about being perceived as "drug seeker.."

    As for the Rx pain pills....I've leveled out at certain amount for 8 days...w/o asking for more, or doc shopping....& miraculously found the perfect balance between taking for pain vs. taking for recreation w/o going over the magic # lol. I'm happy with that. Still I wonder about taking Rx for ADD....& others. Are there any folks here that take Rx speed at a level dose, w/o doin street speed....& not turning into a greedy pill glutton 2 get high. I'm tired of the cons of NOT having daily low dose....but no longer wanna have to depend on obtaining illegally & keeping tolerance high...
     

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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colmes View Post
    I have a question i'd like an answer to, if anyone has any feedback: What is one to do, when they legitimately have adult ADD, or many symptoms of it, which to be honest, can be pretty hard to live with; and their only way of being productive is to take a powerful stimulant that has god knows what long term effects. I know there must be thousands upon thousands of people who feel how I do, some on these very message boards. I hate to sound over-dramatic, but its a really tough spot to be in, the medication is so...unforgiving, and the alternative is being an unproductive member of society, it makes me sad. Well i've typed a lot this session, to anyone who read what I wrote many thanks, and good luck with whatever dark-sides you face as well. also comment if you have anything to add of course
    A good diet, exercise, well maintained sleep hygiene, and supplements (multivitamins, magnesium supplements, omega 3 supplements with a 4:1 ratio of EPA to DHA, l-arginine, whey protein) can go a long way.

    I also utilize noise (or loud music) to keep me awake, alert, and focused. It seems like what would distract most people gets me in a productive/focused state. Depressing music also makes me happy, so I don't know what to say there lol.

    Weed also helps me out a lot, and has many health benefits. It helps me out a lot, I don't know about other ADD/ADHD'ers though.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by TJ5 View Post
    Ha I'm 46, been doin meth on & off 27-28 yrs already. As a kid back in the early 70's, I had what was referred to as,"hyperactivity," & every other kid wasn't diagnosed with having ADHD or whatever. I have 3 half siblings, all of us from different Moms, same dad, & all 4 of us have ADHD---as does our sperm donor, the man that sired, but didn't raise any of us. Anyway, besides being "hyperactive," I also had a bad case of dyslexia where I still see letters bass akwards to this day (for a second or 2.) Out of the 4 of us, I was the only one given Rx ritalin or any drug to be able to sit the fuck down and learn. Not surprisingly, pops can't barely sign his name, & my siblings like pops didn't get past 10th grade. I graduated high school, & DID in fact learn to read & write well.

    I'd HATE to have to go through life not writing, reading, ALOT as those two activities rock. In my case I thank God I WAS put on Ritalin because all the adults, I remember would always be pissed off & be able to tell if I had 4gotten to "go 2 the office & get a pill" at school any given day, lol, & I have vague recollections of having a shitload of physical energy-- without the drug--& was always wild, disruptive, & managed to piss off adults. I was too riled up for most other kids even which sucked cause I couldn't understand why the world was always angry at me. I wasn't TRYING to be a freaken energetic goofball....but unmedicated apparently I was.

    What I'd do NOW for that energy to come back to me w/o chemical aid haha. When I was about 11 or so, I was taken off the Ritalin, & my parents were told I'd "grow out of it" the hyperness one day. There are adults that have both ADD with hyperactivity....as well as ADD attention deficeit...unable to focus, bored easily, lacks concentration...& hell I finally realized recently, after researching a lot about this disorder, reading other people's accounts as well, that although I may have "grown out of hyperactivity," the rest of the symptoms have stayed with me to this day....unless I'm on meth.

    I have noticed over the years that maintaining a low dose only of meth allows concentration, the ability to sit in a chair without squirming & feeling the need to get up, walk around and move every 5 fukn minutes, as well as not being bored, I can get my shit done, focus...& obviously this explains why I don't get very much joy out of writing scripts, learning new things on the PC, or anything new or electronic---without meth. Granted, dosing a bit too high on meth, I'm all over the board writing weird shit, and laughing, giggling & shit & jokes only I can see & hear lol.

    I have tried, however, every damned remedy from accupuncture, reiki, going to a Dr. that are Naturpaths, but in terms of the ADD...NOTHING else works. I did notice too, 15 yrs ago I was given Rx for phentermine to lose weight----which I took for theraputic purposes only meaning---for 3 months, although the same "high" was not there, I was still able to stick to a low fat/carb diet, ate & measured my 3 meals a day, but didn't have to suffer the torment of constant jonesin for all the junk food that is impossible to avoid being in your face assuming you watch TV once in a while...& leave the house.

    I was fine with that. When clean & sober 2 yrs doing NA program of complete abstinence....I voluntarily quit taking my Rx for migraines....the narcotic kind, but had the non narcotic tryptans available. It's damn near impossible to take Rx narcs only for pain....when you have the beast inside cause it wants some too....which is why it was easier to NOT take. Life always changes though, & after 18 months being clean went through hell stuck with chronic fatigue symptoms 24/7 no matter how much or little I slept. I was tired either way 24/7. After going to doc, spend hundres of $$ on lab work, 9 mon later & hundreds $ poorer & broke, thats when I said fuck it, went back to meth.

    As a functioning addict having the same job 5 yrs now, I noticed that the fatigue started up after taking Tramadol a couple wks. It's somehow fucked my neuro chemistry cause I've never had severe issues being tired 24/7....still for what it's worth...I do have a high tolerance for meth now....but am wanting to stop injecting....& ask doc for Rx for Vyvance, as suggested on here. If I were to take any Rx meth or amphetimine, due to tolerance I wouldn't get high...but I can still feel "normal" on merely a maintainance dose daily. This is where I'd ideally like to be.

    I am willing to give up the sporadic highs in favor of consistently not falling asleep or fighting it, controlling appetite, which meth/speed does on maintainance dose....I'm a normal weight size 10 or 8 at about 160 lbs at 5'7", I can focus, concentrate even when not dosing enough to get high. I would probably allow one week a couple times a year---off work, driving, other responsibilities---allow myself the recreation with meth like I did yrs ages ago using "on a schedule" of 90-120 days off--& 5 days on + 2 days recovery. I only had dope in the house on schedule. Seeing as how though the pros are numerous to try a low dose Rx speed only - (&stopping the black market kind) make me want to see doc & ask---if I can drum up the courage 2 do it. Am all paranoid about being perceived as "drug seeker.."

    As for the Rx pain pills....I've leveled out at certain amount for 8 days...w/o asking for more, or doc shopping....& miraculously found the perfect balance between taking for pain vs. taking for recreation w/o going over the magic # lol. I'm happy with that. Still I wonder about taking Rx for ADD....& others. Are there any folks here that take Rx speed at a level dose, w/o doin street speed....& not turning into a greedy pill glutton 2 get high. I'm tired of the cons of NOT having daily low dose....but no longer wanna have to depend on obtaining illegally & keeping tolerance high...

    Well TJ5 you have me beat in the speed department, thats quite a streak. You seem to be pretty well balanced and intelligence. You say you have tried everything, and you may have tried this, i'm not sure. Anyways, you mention that the typical ADHD drugs dont keep you organized like lower dose meth does? And illegally obtaining is something that deeply bothers you (understandable). I preface this question with asking, do you have an understanding psychiatrist or psychopharmocologist? Desoxyn is prescription Methamphetamine. It is not cut with anything, you get it at a pharmacy, and it is prescribed sometimes in cases of treatment resistant ADHD (also obesity). I don't know all the specifics, but I know its CURRENT, I know its OUT THERE, and I know it is PRESCRIBED. I know you mention tolerance, yeah its terrible. If I had a good remedy for that other than the obvious, I'd be selling it and driving a Ferrari on my way to my model girlfriend who thinks i'm attractive because i'm rich.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain.Heroin View Post
    A good diet, exercise, well maintained sleep hygiene, and supplements (multivitamins, magnesium supplements, omega 3 supplements with a 4:1 ratio of EPA to DHA, l-arginine, whey protein) can go a long way.

    I also utilize noise (or loud music) to keep me awake, alert, and focused. It seems like what would distract most people gets me in a productive/focused state. Depressing music also makes me happy, so I don't know what to say there lol.

    Weed also helps me out a lot, and has many health benefits. It helps me out a lot, I don't know about other ADD/ADHD'ers though.
    All 100% great advice above. As usual CH gives straight up solid advice. My BEST days were not from adderall or any amphetamine, but from when I worked out (a good amount), ate healthier, replenished myself with whey protein, and vitamins. Great advice. Captain H, I just have to muster up the will and effort to do all of that....but it DOES WORK! I hope you're doing well CH
     

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    I've learned firsthand how ADD meds can totally destroy your life when you abuse them, but I wanted to point out that it's possible to use them in very small amounts and be responsible with them. Once I figured out that I couldn't live off amphetamine, that I had to eat and sleep at some point, and that girls don't like to date guys that look like Concentration Camp Victims I stopped cold turkey for quite a while.

    Now I can take about 5 to 10mgs of Dexedrine on a busy day and stop taking it when I'm done with what I need to do for the day, then not take it the next day if I don't need them even if I have a bottle full of it. I consider myself to have an extremely addictive personality but I do believe self control is possible and these drugs can be used responsibly and to the benefit of the user. You just can't binge on them (at least not often), you have to eat, and you have to sleep every night. I think you need to see them as a tool and not a way to get high if you want to use them responsibly. Of course you also have to WANT to use them responsibly.

    I personally had to go through some extremes with not eating and constantly increasing dosage and tolerance but eventually I learned how to use them in a balanced way, however it took a while. I scared the hell out of some of my close family members and friends when I first encountered these drugs (due to the changes I went through when I abused them) but I've never been one to do anything halfway, at least in the honeymoon phase.

    Obviously not relying on any drug is best, but these drugs can be a tremendous asset to certain people and should be available for those who need them or benefit from them from time to time. I don't think they should be used every day by most people though, they'll wear you down if you don't take regular breaks.
    Last edited by unsettled; 03-07-2010 at 15:08.
     

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